O-hikitori (お引き取り) is a formal business phrase derived from the verb hikitoru (to take away/withdraw). In a professional context, it functions as a polite, yet firm, directive to request that a person or group depart from a location, finish a meeting, or remove themselves from an ongoing negotiation. It is the gold standard for ending a conversation without causing loss of face.
After living in Tokyo for over a decade, I’ve learned that the most difficult part of Japanese business isn’t starting a project—it’s knowing exactly how to end a conversation. When a client stays too long or a subordinate is lingering in your office after their task is done, the direct Western approach—’please leave’—will destroy your professional reputation. Enter O-hikitori.
The beauty of this phrase lies in its ambiguity. It isn’t just a command; it is an invitation for the other party to withdraw with their dignity intact. Using it properly requires an understanding of Kuukan-yomi, or ‘reading the air.’ If you use this too early, you seem cold; use it too late, and you’ve wasted valuable time.
The Nuance of ‘O-hikitori’
Unlike Kaette kudasai (Please go home), which is shockingly blunt and aggressive, O-hikitori negaimasu or O-hikitori kudasaimasen ka softens the blow by focusing on the act of ‘withdrawing’ rather than the person ‘leaving.’ It’s often used in the context of: ‘We have reached a point where further presence is unnecessary, so please consider your departure.’
Scenario: You are meeting with a persistent vendor who won’t stop pitching after you have already declined their offer.
You: ‘Honjitsu wa kore ijou o-jikan o itadaku to go-meiwaku ni narimasu node, sono-mama o-hikitori itadakemasu to tasukarimasu.’
Translation: ‘It would cause you trouble if I took any more of your time today, so I would appreciate it if you could withdraw now.’
Pro-tip: Never use O-hikitori to your superiors. It is exclusively for people you manage, external vendors, or in situations where you hold a higher authority in the specific context of the room. Using this with a boss will likely result in an immediate disciplinary discussion regarding your ‘attitude’ (taido).
Common Mistakes Foreigners Make
1. Using it with ‘Kudasai’: Just as with other business phrases, adding a simple kudasai can sound like an order. Always try to pair it with itadakemasu ka or onegai dekimasu ka to keep the request polite.
2. Ignoring Context: Do not use this in a high-stakes Nemawashi session. O-hikitori is for when the business at hand is effectively over, not during the middle of a delicate negotiation. Using it prematurely can be interpreted as a sign of frustration or lack of patience.
Slang and Softened Variations
In very casual or ‘insider’ business circles, you might hear hiketara? (Why don’t you head out?), but this is extremely risky. Stick to the formal O-hikitori until you have reached ‘uchigawa’ (inner circle) status with your colleagues. Remember, in Japan, the way you exit is just as important as the way you entered.
